Freakn' Perfect
by MadHatterLuvsAlice
Summary: Bubbles'in her freshman year of high school & feels completely overshadowed by her sisters and her life begins going in a down spiral in her attempts to be perfect like them. No one seems to see her pain- not even her sisters. Can anyone save her in time?
1. Chapter 1: Welcome To My Silly Life

_**Hatter**__: Okay I made this story inspired by P!nk's song" F**** Perfect". I heard it while I was listening to my IPod during my midterms-_

_**Alice:**__ Hatter! You were listening to your IPod during Mr. *****'s test! That is academic dishonesty, you know._

_**Hatter**__: (rolls eyes) oh shove it Alice. I happen to know you smuggled your phone in and if I remember correctly you have internet connection in school… to me that sounds like academic dishonesty._

_**Alice**__: …_

_Hatter: Yeah that's what I thought. Anyways as I was saying, I saw the video premiere and was instantly convinced to write a story about it. Hey Alice would you mind telling us the summary?_

_**Alice**__: (makes a crude hand gesture)_

_**Hatter**__: I guess not. So it's about Bubbles, she's in her freshman year of high school and feels completely overshadowed by her sisters and her life begins going in a down spiral in her attempts to be perfect like them. You got to read to know what happens. So get to it!_

_**Alice**__: Hatter and I do not own or hold any rights to The Powerpuff Girls or "F**** Perfect" by P!nk but we demand you to listen to it. Jk_

_Chapter One: Welcome to My Silly Life_

_Normal POV_

_Bubbles steeped out of the shower. Her blonde hair fell down her back like a fountain. She walked towards the counter where her towel sat. Before she could wrap it around herself her eyes caught sight of her naked reflection. She was a very pretty girl. _

_Normally everyone saw her oldest sister Blossom as the prettiest one of the group but Bubbles had looks too. She had a petite build with delicate features. She had a few scars from her battles but they even looked natural on her. _

_She was quite beautiful _

_Bubble's POV_

_I stood alone in my bathroom. My blonde hair was dripping wet and hung like a rag doll's. I was staring at my reflection in the mirror completely stark naked, my clothes were sitting on the sink waiting. _

_A frown was seen as my eyes examined every feature of my body. My shoulders were too wide. Fat hung from my arms. Scars covered my arm. My thighs looked like they'd exploded any second. And my lips were scabbed from my habit of biting my lips. _

_I was ugly._

_I looked towards the ground where I had dropped my towel but instead of retrieving it I discovered our scale. Carefully I stepped on it._

_I watched as the dial spun madly to determine my enormous weight no less. When the red pointer finally settled under my weight I leaned down a bit to read the number._

_117 lbs.!_

_I bit my lip furiously. 'I don't believe it! I'm so …so … so fat.' I thought quickly jumping off the scale in disgust._

"_I just need to work harder." I whisper to myself. _

_Turing to the sink, I remove my clothes and turn on the water. I grab my blue toothbrush from out holder and turn it around to the flat part is facing me._

_Opening my mouth I lay it on top of my tongue. I take a deep breath before moving it further up my throat causing me to gag immediately in reaction._

_I try again but still nothing but my silent gagging._

'_Come on, I have to… I have to be perfect.' _

_With one final jab to the back of my throat I vomited into the sink. Once I was finished I washed my mouth out turned the water off._

_BANG! BANG!_

"_Bubbles! Come on we're gonna be late. You've been in there forever." I heard Buttercup shouted from the other side of the door._

"_C- coming." I croak out, my throat a little sore. Hastily, I grab the clothes I had put aside. I pull the long sleeve hoodie over my head, completely frumping up my hair, and squeeze into my faded jeans. Gathering my hair into hand I tie it into a ponytail before heading towards the door. _

_When I step out the bathroom I meet a fuming Buttercup leaning against our room door. She was tapping her foot impatiently with her arms crossed as she glared at me. But I still marveled jealously at how pretty she was. Shoulder length raven hair, exciting green eyes, and a thin athletic body even showed through her baggy clothes._

"_What were we were doing in there? Dressing the entire neighborhood?" she rolled her eyes._

_I lowered my head and remained quiet._

"_Oh calm down Buttercup. Since when are you so eager to get to school?" a voice I recognized as my oldest sister, Blossom._

_She swished her hips as she approached us. No doubt Blossom was the most gorgeous out all of us. Long beautiful dark red hair, brilliant pink eyes, the waist of a pencil and long legs that she displayed in her white skirt. _

_To top it off she was insanely smart and popular with every kid in our school- and I mean everyone._

_It just wasn't fair. She was just absolutely perfect. Unlike me._

_I remember when we were kids the Professor would always remind us that we were all equal, it was how were made… he doesn't tell us that anymore._

_Buttercup, completely immune to Blossom's beauty, narrowed her eyes at her " Well I would just hate to ruin that perfect record of yours."_

_Blossom smiled, dusting aside Buttercup's comment like it was a piece of lint on her flawless sweater, "Oh Buttercup. But we should be going now." She said before descending down the stairs leaving us alone._

"_I need to get my shoes first." I mumbled walking towards our bedroom door where Buttercup stood._

_But when I approached her she stood her ground and had resumed glaring at me._

" _Before Ms. Sunshine came by, I asked you a question Bubbles. What were you doing in there?" she demanded, keeping her voice low._

_I tugged at my sleeves, trying to hid the scars even more. "Nothing, I was just getting ready. I'm sorry if I took too long."_

_Buttercup noticed my fidgeting and quickly caught my arm, pulling down my sleeve enough to see my lower arm covered in scars._

_She narrowed her eyes in anger at my arm but calm down before looking me in the eye "When did you do this?"_

_Ashamed I lowered my head, "Last night." I whispered._

"_So what took you so long in the bathroom." She repeated, still holding m arm in her grasp._

_I bit my lip tightly and yanked my arm away "It doesn't matter…You… You wouldn't understand!" I hissed "Just let me get my shoes… please."_

_She stood still for a moment before moving aside. I grabbed the handle and just as I pushed open the door I heard Buttercup muttered "I can only understand what you tell me."_

_I turned to look at her but she was already heading towards the stairs, her back turned to me. _

_Inside our room I recovered the scars delicately so not to get the cloth caught in the opened skin. _

_Our room wasn't too different since we were kids, we had gotten our own beds and divided the space off so it was dedicated specially for its owner. Buttercup's was closest to our closet and the back wall because it provided the most space and was farthest away from Blossom and I. Blossom had moved so she had the highest access to the phone since it was almost always for her and the computer to ensure her work was completed as she spoke on the phone to her millions of friends. My bed was next to our windows; even now I spent most of my time gazing aimlessly out into the distance for no reason at all._

"_Oh no. Where did I put my shoes?" I thought. I searched through the bottom half of our closet but nothing. "Maybe I kicked them under my bed."_

_I walk over to my bed and get down on my stomach. Inserting my hand under the bed I begin groping desperately. My efforts seems for naught until I felt my fingers brush against something. I attached my fingers on it and pulled it out._

_It wasn't my shoes. Not even close. It was an old toy of mines. A dark purple octopus with sleepy eyes, a pickle shaped nose and a small top hat on it's head._

"_Octi." I breathed recalling the old rag's name. I had no idea I still had the thing. I hadn't played with toys since fifth grade. _

_I turned the toy around in my hands, it's age showed all over. The felt was stained, one of the legs was slightly torn, and one of the pupils in the eye had come off. _

'_He's just like me. A piece of trash.' I thought with strange fondness._

_I was pulled from the toy when I heard my name being called. Without thinking I shoved the octopus into my hoodie pocket and left the room, abandoning my shoe search._

_I walked down the stairs where I was met with the sight of Blossom holding my sneakers in her hands. "You must have left them down here when we got home." She explained before handing them to me._

_I mutter thanks before slipping them on my feet. Blossom brings her wrist to face and examines her watch "Come on girls. Classes are gonna start soon" she says before flying off on her own._

"_I said that forever ago!" Buttercup complains annoyed flying away herself._

_I thought about saying goodbye to the Professor but didn't feel like yelling to him down in his lab, so I flew off after my sisters, wordlessly, towards school._

_Hatter: So what did you think?_

_Alice: They probably thought it was cr-_

_Hatter: Alice if you don't shut up I'm revoking to only two sarcastic comments a day._

_Alice: Fine Fine. What I meant to say was it was a waste of-_

_Hatter: That's it! You only get one a day now. _

_Alice: Humph. Please Review. We want Constructed criticism only. No hate allowed. _

_Hatter: Check back for next chapter!_


	2. Chapter 2: Misunderstood

_Chapter Two: Misunderstood_

_**Hatter**__: Woah I never know how thrilling it was to actually publish your work._

_**Alice**__: Clam down. All you did was push submit and save._

_**Hatter**__: Well Alice I guess you wouldn't understand this triumphant moment because all you are is a backseat writer-_

_**Alice**__: I think you mean Second Hand Extraordinaire Commenter of Works _

_**Hatter**__: Um, no I don't. Anyways as I was saying __**you**__ can't truly feel the amazing sensation of putting your work out there._

_**Alice**__: … What's your point?_

_**Hatter**__: (groans) Forget it. Just Forget it._

_**Alice**__: Another battle won my Nintendo haha. Please enjoy __**our **__story._

_**Hatter**__: Mine! _

_The lunch room was crowded and painfully noisy to my sensitive ears. I pulled my hood over my head to tone the volume down a bit before resuming to pick at my pizza._

"_Bubbles, just eat the pizza already." Buttercup instructed annoyied. I stopped and looked up at my sister who sat across from me as she chomped on chips._

_Even after getting upset with me this morning, Buttercup had still joined me for lunch, bringing the boys with her. When we first started high school my sisters and I had all gotten the same lunch period. But Blossom always made her way to the center of the cafeteria to be with her swarms of friends, or "Turbo Nerds" as Buttercup called them._

_Buttercup at first sat with her friends but I guess she took pity on me and left them to keep me company. A month later the RowdyRuff Boys transferred here and joined our small group of misfits (a very long story)_

_Even though I felt like a charity case when I was with them I did prefer their company rather being the only kid sitting alone. _

_Butch sat next to Buttercup and talking to Boomer, who sat on my side of the bench. Brick would have been here too but he had gotten detention for Mr. Glover. Again._

"_I'm not hungry." I reply retrieving my hand from the tray and into my lap._

_Buttercup sighed as she continued eating._

_Suddenly a pair of hands snatch up the abandoned pizza. I turn to my left where I witness Boomer now eating my food._

"_Well if you won't eat it we shouldn't let it go to waste." He justified._

"_Boomer!" Buttercup snapped "Stop snatching everyone's food."_

"_He can't help it. He needs something to fill the space between his ears." Butch said coolly keeping a bored expression but I saw a small smile fight his lips._

"_Shut up. She said she didn't want it so it doesn't count as stealing." Boomer defended._

_I push the rest of my tray over to Boomer whose eyes light up immediately. "It's okay. I'm really not hungry." I assure ._

"_What? Are you on some type of diet or something?" Butch asks setting his eyes on me._

_At the sound of 'diet', I see Buttercup narrow her eyes at me, waiting for my answer. I feel a lump build in my throat and my stomach churn._

_Luckily before I can answer Boomer steps in. " I don't get it. Why does every girl feel like they need to lose weight when they're already like 10 lbs." he asks finishing the pizza and starting on the fries._

"_I'm not on a diet." Buttercup says insulted._

"_Well he did say 'every girl' ." Butch smirks, dodging a chip Buttercup throws at him "But Boomer has a point. Guys, we could care less about our weight, I don't see what the big deal."_

" _That's complete bull." Buttercup counters " Guys may not normally care about their weight but they spend hours on end working on their precious muscles."_

_I listen silently as their conversation continues. With each word they say I feel more and more misunderstood. It is a big deal especially to people like me, people who was nothing going for them. People who are constantly compared to everyone around them until they always came up far from good enough. 'None of them get it. Because they don't feel the need to be perfect' I thought bitterly._

_Everyone I knew was better than me. Butch and Buttercup were great fighters, Boomer was an amazing musician, Brick was great in every sport and Blossom was…. Well BLOSSOM! _

_I always fell to the wayside in people's minds because I had no talents, I was average even with powers, and worse… ugly. Even the boys, despite formally being villains, were pretty well liked. Not on a Blossom scale, but pretty close. Girls practically adored them. They all had gotten really good looking. Completely flawless… almost like models. _

_Brick was the most attractive according to population (Blossom's counterpart no less.) . Boomer was the cuter one, kind of like that Justin Beiber kid. Butch had jockish looks that mixed with his dark and brooding personality._

"_What do you think Bubbles?" Buttercup asked bringing me out of my thoughts._

_I blink blankly, embarrassed I hadn't been paying attention "About what?"_

_Buttercup groans " Daydream much? I asked if you thought the dance was worth the trauma?"_

'_The dance?' I thought, feeling a little clueless for a second until I touched back realizing the topic change. 'Oh the Homecoming dance .'_

_I shrugged my shoulders "I don't know. I'm not going."_

_Before the conversation could progress the fifth period bell rang. I was the first to get up from our table, gathering my books quietly. _

_With my things, I leave the group and head out of the cafeteria. Before I could get caught up in the crowds I make a beeline for the bathroom. _

_**Seven Minutes Later**_

_I wiped my mouth unconsciously as I walk into my fifth period Art class- late. It wasn't too big of a deal. There was only seven people in the class and the teacher was pretty low maintained._

_Mr. Joel, the teacher, was sitting at his desk when I walked in. He looks up and looks at me, registering my presence "Ms. Utonium, your late."_

_I push a piece of a hair from my face "I'm sorry, Mr. Joel. It wont happen again."_

_He nods " Good. Now get to work."_

_I nod back and head to my station where my canvas is waiting. I put on the grayish smock, paint splattered from years of use, grab some brushes and a mirror._

_Once settled, I examined my canvas with disgust. We were working on self portraits and I have been spending the last two weeks attempting to paint my mess of a face but it never turned out right._

_I enjoyed art, more then I enjoyed anything in awhile, but this was a challenge and was threatening to me._

_If I was painting someone else, anyone else, maybe it would be easier but no, I was stuck with myself. Ugh._

_Sighing deeply, I plunged my brush in some paint and began moving my hand. Time flew as I painted, despite the painting at hand, I felt free when I was painting. Only I was in control and I liked that._

"_Very good Bubbles." A voice said behind me. I turned around to see Trent, Mr. Joel's aid. He was a senior who "assisted" us when Mr. Joel was too busy. He was one of those insanely popular guys who everyone liked because he didn't act like a jerk even though he could. Blossom was crazy about the guy but that didn't surprise me (What guys wasn't she crazy for). Me on the other hand, not so much. In fact not at all._

_I turn back to my painting, mumbling a 'thanks'. But he didn't leave when I resumed painting, I could feel him standing behind me still- watching me. My stomach clenches and I feel like I'm going to be sick again._

_I bit my lip, uncomfortable by his presence and unsure of what to do. "You know," he continues as he places his hand on my shoulder and leaning into my ear causing me to freeze up completely and drop my brush on my knee "I would kill to have talent like yours."_

_Struggling to choke out words or even breath, I'm interrupted when the last period bell sounds and Trent releases my shoulder instantly. Out the corner of my eye I watch him walk away to Mr. Joel's desk as if he never came over here._

_My breathing returns to normal as I'm left there stunned and disturbed._

_I feel something wet and cold on my face. I reach up and feel the small trail of tears on my face. On my clean sleeve I wipe the tears away quickly and pick up my bag. Before I can think I ran out the class and then out the school. Without a second thought I fly up onto the school roof._

_Looks like I'll be missing sixth period. Again_

_**Hatter**__: Okay even I'll admit this was not a amazing chapter. It was more of a filler before things start taking off._

_**Alice**__: tsk tsk . Excuses Excuses, be a man and own up your chapter._

_**Hatter**__: But I'm not a m- . You know what you're right._

_**Alice**__: (blinks confused) I am?_

_**Hatter**__: Yeah. I should accept this chapter and treat it no different than the coming ones. It is my art._

_**Alice**__: B-b-b-b-but….. I was right?_

_**Hatter**__: (nods) Yep_

_**Alice**__: I think – I think I' m gonna… (faints dramatically)_

_**Hatte**__r: Ha-ha That worked better than I thought. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for next chapter it's definitely gonna be better._

_Alice: (gets up suddenly) Please review… (faints again)_


	3. Chapter 3: Vocies in Your Head

_**Chapter Three: Voices in Your Head**_

_**Hatter**__: We have returned with your third chapter._

_**Alice**__: Dude you know you're talking to no one right_

_**Hatter**__: Dude, you know you're just hatin on me_

_**Alice**__: Yes… Yes I do._

_**Hatter**__: You know what, One day I'm gonna go solo and you'll miss me._

_**Alice**__: Pfft. May I remind you whose computer you're using? That's right… Mines! So you won't be going anywhere my nitendo._

_**Hatter**__: Okay first- it's 'Mine' not 'Mines'. Drop the Baltimore accent already. And second- who was it who spilled __**their **__double espresso on __**my**__ computer at Starbucks ©? That's right… You!_

_**Alice**__: That was never proven! Please enjoy 'Freakn Perfect' chapter three. _

_I sat with my knees pulled to my chest. The roof was cold today, showing winter was on its way. But my left shoulder burned from Trent's touch._

_No he didn't have some special heat powers or something. Well, at least not as far as I knew, but I doubted it. No his touch simply hurt because… it was his._

_I chewed at my bottom lip, deep in thought. 'You can't let this go on' a voice warned me in my head ' This isn't right. You know it. You don't deserve this.'_

'_What do I deserve? ' I counter thought ' Do people like me deserve anything?'_

'_Everyone deserves to be treated like a human being. Like they're worth something.' The voice advanced._

_I shook my head silently, dismissing it 'I'm not worth anything anymore.' _

_My debate with myself was silenced when I heard footsteps behind me. I whipped my neck behind me, a small fear burning inside me believing the source of my pain was behind me._

_The fear simmered a bit when I saw the real sneak. "Butch?" I call shocked to see him there._

_His green eyes narrowed at me, assessing my presence, apparently just as surprised to see me as I was him._

"_What are you doing up here?" his voice low and rough. Had it always been like that? I never really noticed._

"_Um, I just needed some air." I explained quickly hugging my knees closer to me._

_He made a sound indicting he accepted my answer. "I didn't peg you for the type to skip" . I looked Butch over and noticed he was taping his foot, a habit I assumed that remained from his childhood when he would twitch excitedly before a fight._

"_Why are you up here?" I questioned, this was the fifth time I was up here and I had never seen Butch up here. _

_He gave me a bored expression before digging in his jacket pocket and retrieving a small green rectangular package with a camel on it._

_I blink, absorbing what he's showing me. "You smoke?"_

_He takes out one of the tobacco sticks and places it in the corner of his mouth. " Naw, I'm quitting." He says sarcastically as he lights it and inhales the smoke._

_I frown at his tone and turn around . "Forget it." I say ending our conversation._

'_Why am I even talking to him.' I thought miserably 'I'm definitely not in the mood for this.'_

_I heard him chuckle lightly before he walks over and sits next to me. " Calm down babe, I was only joking." He smirks._

_I continue to frown at him. 'Did he really just call me babe?' _

"_So what's on your mind?" he asks blowing out a neat circle of smoke._

"_What makes you think something's on my mind." I ask, mentally smacking myself for continuing to talk to him._

" '_Cause no one 'needs some air', unless something's wrong." He says explaining his logic._

_I lick my lips, now chapped from my teeth's recent activity "Why does it matter to you." I ask, a bit annoyed and confused by Butch's sudden interest in me. Sure we sat at lunch and talked occasionally but never outside the cafeteria. It was like some unspoken rule I only seemed to see at the moment._

_Butch shrugs while his eyes calmly scanned the parking lot below us, taking another drag from his cigarette "Keeping the conversation going I guess."_

'_This is unbelievable' I thought, scratching irritably at my ripped lips , ' I'm never going to understand boys.'_

_I remained silent for a few more seconds before muttering "Life."_

"_Life?" he repeats raising an eyebrow at me._

"_Yes Life. Sometime s…. Sometimes you just need a breather from life." I sighed and stretched my legs out from their position " I don't know why am I even telling you this?"_

"_Maybe it's because I'm so irresistible." He smirks looking at me with his green eyes._

_I felt myself gulp. Why were they so… beautiful. Was that even possible on a guy? I force myself to look away from him, not trusting my eyes at the moment. "I doubt that." I replied dryly._

'_Why can't I shut up with him? And since when is Butch such a talker? Okay so maybe he's not blabbing but this was a lot from him. What did he want?'_

_My chest hitches at that last thought. 'What did he want?'_

_Suddenly I stood up, alarming Butch. Panic rose in me and my breaths were coming out short like I was hyperventilating. _

'_They always want something.' A voice echoed loudly in my head 'Always'_

_Sensing my distress Butch stood up too. "Hey are you okay?" he reached for my shoulder and I lost it._

_I jumped back from him, my body shaking like a leaf. "D-Don't touch me!" I snap, glaring at him like I was a wild animal "Just-Just Leave me alone!"_

_With that I flew away. I flew faster then I even knew I could, leaving behind a confused Butch alone on the roof._

_Along with all my stuff._

"_Your home pretty early." Blossom observed when she walked into our room. I simply nodded my head not looking up from my book. Blossom didn't press forward, not like I expected her to. She tended to stay out of Buttercup's and my life to the point you wouldn't guess we were sisters. _

_On the other hand, she didn't mind telling us every detail of __**her**__ life. Blossom quickly launched into to some story of how someone stole her calculus teacher's chair. _

"_Where's Buttercup?" I asked bringing Blossom out of the mist of her story. _

_She pursed her lips together, upset I stopped her from talking, and shrugged "How should I know. Probably hanging out with those thugs she calls friends."_

"_Oh." I say knowing the thugs she was referring to specifically were the RowdyRuff boys. Blossom never came near the boys, she said she just didn't trust them but Buttercup thought it was because she saw them as competition for her popularity. _

"_Anyways, I'm leaving. Some friends and I are going to the mall for a few hours." She said grabbing a jacket from our closet._

"_Oh." I repeat._

"_You wanna come. It'll be so much fun."_

_Okay so she didn't say that last part. I kind of made it up in my mind. Blossom never invites me or Buttercup to hang out with her – especially with her friends around. What she really said was "Tell the Professor I'll be home by curfew" before leaving the house. _

_I didn't even get a chance to tell her the Professor had gone out himself. I was completely alone in the house._

_I sat still in the empty abyss of my room. Silence echoing loudly throughout the house. I hated being alone- bad things always happened when I was by myself. _

_I chewed nervously at my lip, forcing myself to read the book in my hands as not to let my mind wonder. I always feared the worst before it could even happen._

'_Calm down Bubbles-Just calm down' I soothed myself as I looked at the black and white intently._

_**Tap Tap…. Tap Tap **_

'_What was that!' I thought snapping my head towards the windows above me, a shiver running down my back until I rethought it 'No it's just my imagination, it has to be'. Sometimes my mind was my worst enemy. Though despite my own assurance I still gripped the book tighter and stared harder into the pages. _

_**Tap Tap…. Tap Tap **_

_I gripped harder._

_**Tap Tap…. Tap Tap **_

_And Harder._

_**TAP TAP TAP!**_

_I closed my book abruptly. I was no longer interested in its content at the moment. _

_I sat sill for a few moments thinking and over thinking the situation. Praying for a plausible reason for this occurrence, any at all. _

_And then it came._

"_I'm… I'm on second floor, no one would- could tap the window unless… unless they were…. Buttercup!" I exclaimed tears of rejoice practically springing to my eyes in my ignorant realization._

_I moved to opened the window to let my sister in. When I loosen the latch and held it open a flash of green light quickly flew in but it wasn't definitely not my sister._

"_God, do you know how cold it is out there." He complained, keeping his hands jammed in his pocket._

"_Butch." I breathed, shaken completely at his presence as I just started at him. _

_He didn't seem to notice and just went on. "Man, I've been waiting outside forever. I saw your sister come in so I was waiting for her to leave so I could do this."_

_Fear clouded my eyes. "W-what? Why did you have to w-wait for Blossom to leave?" _

'_I knew it. I knew no good came from being by myself. It's always the same.' I thought frantically._

_Butch smirked to himself, not realizing fear. "Well, Red doesn't exactly have a high opinion of me. Anyways I just had to give you something."_

"_S-something?" I stuttered backing up only to have the back of my knees hit my bed._

"_Yeah, here." He walked towards me so I was trapped between him and my bed._

_I felt my heart quicken. 'I won't let it happen again- I'll use my powers if I have to. This time for sure.' I thought, tightening my fist as fiercely as I could._

_Butch unzipped his jacket and retrieved something he'd been keeping inside._

"_You left this on the roof." He said presenting with the object he'd pulled from his jacket._

_My body loosen a bit as I looked at what he held. It was a small brown sketchbook with my name etched neatly on it. I looked at the book and then at Butch and then back at the book. I stared at it. Assessing what was going on "The roof?" I questioned confused._

_Butch raised an eyebrow at me, amusement hinting his face " Yeah, the roof. Remember? Where you freaked out on me and flew off without your stuff."_

_I remembered. But I was still confused._

"_So…you brought it… to me? That's it?" I asked._

"_Well kind of. I gave Buttercup most of your stuff but I forgot this… and l figured you'd want it back quicker than the rest."_

_Butch had begun fidgeting again. He was clearly as uncomfortable being here I was with him being here._

_I reached up and took the book from him. He had a point though. When I flew home, it wasn't until I was home I realized I had left everything behind. More importantly my sketchbook. _

_I always kept it with me. It had everything in it. _

_And it was everything to me. It was all I had._

"_Thank you." I whisper. I was a lot more calmer now, and was relaxing especially with my book back in my hands._

"_Yeah, no problem." He replied._

_We were both quiet no and this only seem to provoke Butch's energy even more._

"_So –" I began but Butch cut me off._

"_What happen? I mean why'd you fly off?" he asked, his fingers tapping his forearm excitedly, though his expression was blank._

_My actions from earlier replayed in my head and I felt my face flush. 'OH MY GOD! He must think I'm… I'm …I'm a lunatic!'_

"_I-I um-I was just-" I stammered, unsure how to explained. Because I couldn't. I just couldn't…. not to him or anyone else._

_I shook my head sadly, "I'm sorry. I was just feeling a little sick. That's all."_

_Butch at me and nodded slowly at my answer "Hm." His eyes traveled to his wrist suddenly " Shit. I got to go."_

_He walked away from my and I unconsciously let out a large breath. "Oh. Um… thanks again." I said._

_Butch stopped at the window for a second and looked at my hands which still held my sketchbook. "You know, their really good. You should let more people see them."_

_And he flew off, this time leaving me completely confused._

_Because for a second. Only for a second… I felt a little less alone. _

**Hatter:** (CRYING HSYTERICALLY) I … I

**Alice**: Oh geez get a hold of yourself. This is embarrassing.

**Hatter:** I'm sorry (sobbing)… I'm just … overwhelmed…. Alice could you…

**Alice:** fill in for your ending captions? I couldn't – but if you insist - I will. So what my emotional co writer was saying- or sobbing, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter. Though I'm sad to say high school may conquered mines and my crybaby friend's schedules. So we are unsure if we'll continue weekly updates. But who knows we work miracles. So please stay tuned nonetheless!

**Hatter**: (still sobbing) Please review!... wait did you just call me your co writer?


	4. Update Update Update (I'm Still Alive)

_So hi guys, I'm not sure if anyone is still even reading this cause its been two years since I published anything but I happened to get an alert a while back and I decided I wanted to finish this story because I really did like writing it. If you have been waiting I am so sorry and I promise to finish it – feel free to badger the hell out of me cause I'm trying to finish it in at least ten more chapters. Okay Thank you x (and thanks for sticking around)_

**Oh and next chapter is gonna be called….**

**Chapter Four: Pretty Pretty Please**

…**. Should be up by Saturday or Sunday :) **

(if you want leave me comments how you feel about me continuing the story)


	5. Chapter 4: Second Guessing

**NOTE:** _Wow okay so it seems fate didn't want me to update this week cause I got crazy swamped on Saturday and then we had a storm on Sunday that knocked out the internet. But I am determined to submit this so here you are after two whole years guys. Okay enjoy _

_Oh and also I know I said in the update that this chapter would be called "PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE" I changed my mind titled it "SECOND GUESSING" x _

**CHAPTER FOUR: **Second Guessing

If I could I would take a sick day from my entire life.

I was huddled my comforter like a homeless woman, sitting cross legged on my bed as I listened to music from my iPod.

I wasn't really sick. What teenager was ever actually sick on a sick day. No, physically I was no worse than I usually was, emotionally on the other hand I felt fatal.

It had been two days since the incident of Trent approaching me and Butch coming to my house – both had left me traumatized. Well in Butch's case, confused.

I sighed heavily and bit down on my cracked lip.

I had replayed the whole awkward and strange event with Butch in my head multiple times but I still couldn't understand any of it and that only made me more terrified.

What was his deal?

I tried to compare Butch and Trent's effect on me and though both put me in a vulnerable and uncomfortable state, with Butch I had felt … okay.

I frowned at this thought and I gathered my comforter closer to my body before slumping down to lie on my bed. That was stupid. I didn't know what okay was anymore and there was no way I felt it with Butch.

'Nothing about me was okay anymore' I thought bitterly holding my scarred arms close to my chest 'And it never will be'

Nobody wanted someone who had become damaged. I was unwanted now and it would always stay that way now. No one could change that.

Trent. Butch. It didn't matter, there was no difference I decided – they were all the same in the end. They could see my weaknesses and would just take advantage of me.

There was no need to second guess that.

I was startled from my thoughts when I heard a buzzing noise coming from my nightstand. I sprang from my cocooned position to find the source was my phone going off.

Grabbing it I saw it was a text from Buttercup. I groaned slightly. It wasn't like I had expected it from anyone else. I didn't really have any friends and only had the phone for emergencies. My family was the only ones who even knew my number.

I had even been expecting this text. It hadn't been sitting well with Buttercup that I was staying home practically on my own since the Professor was pretty much oblivious when he was in his lab. She didn't trust me behind closed doors.

The reminder made me adjust my sleeves guiltily as I opened the text and scanned its contents:

_**Hey we're going to swing by during lunch – come downstairs cause I know you're hiding**_

_**-Buttercup**_

My skin ran cold when I read and re read the text. There was no question who the "we" she was referring to was.

I wanted to scream but instead I just yanked hard on my hair in frustration. My mind was now moving too fast with thoughts and emotions and it was giving me a headache.

I checked my phone and saw the time was 11:08 am, our lunch started three minutes ago and since they could fly here Buttercup and the boys would be here in seconds.

I stood up abruptly from my bed causing my headache to get worse and suddenly I felt nauseous. I dashed off to the bathroom and without even having to assist myself, threw up in the toilet.

When I was finished I slumped onto the tile floor, letting my head rest on the toilet seat.

I felt disgusting and the sickness in my stomach still hadn't passed even after vomiting. I groaned, pushing my hair out of my eyes . After a few more moments I stood and walked over to the sink to wash out my mouth.

I turned the water on but made no movement towards cleaning out my mouth. Instead I stared at my reflection I the mirror. Staying home for two days had taken its toll without a doubt.

My hair was greasy and tangled, my skin pale and bloated, and not to mention I was still dressed in a ratty pair of pajamas.

"I cant do this." I whispered, feeling the scratchiness in my voice. I felt stuck and I didn't know what to do.

I didn't want to see Butch. I didn't want to see anyone.

I turned the faucet off, forgetting about my stale mouth, and opened the bathroom door causing me to slam right into Buttercup who was on the other side.

Being smaller I bounced right off of Buttercup and landed flat on my butt from the surprise impact.

"There you are – I told you to come downstairs. Come on hurry up" she said helping me stand on my feet.

I swallowed, tasting the remains of my vomit go down my throat. 'No' I wanted to scream and run into my room.

But instead I just pulled hood over my head and followed behind Buttercup silently down the stairs where the boys were.

"Look who I found" Buttercup declared when we arrived in the living room. The boys looked up at us and gave me general greeting.

I croaked out "Hi" before scurrying to the far side of the room to the solitary arm chair which just happened to be the opposite from Butch.

"Man you really look sick Bubbles" Boomer observes as he a sip from a can of soda which grants him a slap on the back of the head by three different hands. "What?! She is sick isn't she – Christ!" he defends rubbing his head "Sorry Bubbles."

I nod in acceptance of his apology.

For the next twenty minutes I resume my normal role as a member of this lunch group, listening , nodding and speaking when spoken to. However I noticed today was a little different.

Every time I was forced back into the conversation it wasn't by Buttercup, it was by Butch. Every so often he would say my name to ask my opinion on something to bring attention to me or simply just mention it.

It reminded me of when we were on the roof, when he had suddenly become so chatty with me. Every time I heard my name my breath caught and I felt a chill of surprise when I realized the source.

It was weird.

But felt … okay.

I shook my head in annoyance with myself. I had already gone over this. This wasn't okay. It couldn't be because I wasn't okay. Nothing was.

I still didn't know what Butch's deal was and I wouldn't allow myself to find out. I couldn't. Not again.

And yet when they all stood up to leave for next period I caught myself watching Butch.

Wondering if there really was something to second guess.

**Wow just wow I can't believe I'm doing this again but it feels great **** I'm not sure how I really feel about how I ended it, maybe it was rushed a bit idk I'm a bit rusty guys so please let me know what you think. See you next chapter x**


End file.
